I walked down the hall and greeted a couple that I had not seen for seven years (2008). They had big smiles on their faces, which always makes everyone else in the room smile.
They first came to me after six years of trying to get pregnant. Testing showed that in vitro fertilization (IVF) was their only option and they promptly prepared for IVF.
On May 9, 2008, the local newspapers officially declared Arizona to be in recession. The couple prepared for IVF in August but had a false start and planned to start again in September of 2008.
Ben Bernanke, the former head of the Federal Reserve recently said that, “September and October of 2008 was the worst financial crisis in global history including the great depression.” This couple did not escape and ultimately had to cancel their treatment.
I did not hear from them until I saw their smiles again in my office—seven years later.
Their story was one of struggle, hope and recovery. They now enjoy the security of successful self-employment and are able to try again to pursue their dream of having a family.
As I sat looking into the woman’s eyes, I could see a little of the heartache and hope of 13 years of empty arms. My heart went out to her and I was once again filled with the wonder of what motherhood is.
Most of our thoughts on Mother’s Day are to the mothers in our lives. Their love. Their devotion. Their sacrifice. Need to nurture, capacity to endure.
My world is filled with an additional view of motherhood. I think I am blessed with a constant perspective of the deep fundamental essence of motherhood. The essence of motherhood is not the realization of being a mother, it is not the selfless act of mothering. It is a fundamental need to care, to nurture and to love.
The consequence of this need is the capacity to endure whatever is necessary to fulfill the calling of motherhood. One definition of endure is, “to withstand with courage.”
It takes great courage to walk into my office. It takes great courage to choose the path that has the greatest chance of bringing success. And it takes great courage to hang on to hope as the years pass with empty arms.
As I said goodbye to this couple after putting in place a plan of treatment, I was filled with their conviction of better days to come.